Existence

I just got this crazy Dyna-Flex thing from my friend. It's a workout tool of sorts. You're supposed to spin it with a string like a gyroscope, and then rotate your wrists to make the inner wheel spin faster and create a greater resistance to your wrist motions. It's kinda counter-intuitive, especially when it moves slowly at the beginning. I had to endure many awkward attempts to get the swing of things, but now I can get it going almost every time.

A couple guys and I were talking about making a trip to South America a while ago. I said to them, "I know a month down the road we're gonna forget all about this, so I'm going, whether you guys come or not." I love inspiring moments like that, but I don't think I can endure another one unfulfilled. (I'm going back to school this semester, and it's not in South America.) I think I'll use this Dyna-Flex as a reminder of what I know I need to do.

The only reason I write this is because I just watched the movie "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind." It made me see, if only until I go to bed, an aspect of life I rarely notice. Life takes many feeble attempts to really get tickin'. I feel like every day begins with an initial spin, and as of this moment, I haven't really been able to apply the knowledge I've learned about actually living it. But then I suppose that's been because my attempts have been shamefully few. In the film, Joel (Jim Carrey) meets the love of his life, Clementine (Kate Winslet), but doesn't allow himself to share his emotions. We get glimpses of some traumatic experiences he endured which hint at a trend of let-downs that might explain why he's such an island when it comes to feelings. I empathize with him quite a bit, but seeing the consequences of his emotional forfeit from an outside perspective makes me realize that any greatness or extraordinariness I wish I had in my life takes as payment the pain, shame and awkwardness I fear more strongly than death. I only now realize that I need to stop making oaths to myself in hopes that some extenuating slip of Murphy's Law will send me skyrocketing into my dreams. I'm not the one on whom their fulfillment lies. Only God knows what will truly rectify my dispair and failures to act. I can but rely on His teachings and trust the perverted advise of His depraved followers will somehow be unveiled as the unique antidote for the nitpicky pangs in my soul.

"WE BE WEBLOGGING," SAYS WITNESS

I've slacked. Even though Colby's the only other one who's read this blog, I should be more disciplined with my creative writing. I need an outlet. I will make this blog my new year's resolution, so it has relatively little consequence when I either forget or refuse to do it in my normative state of mind. Here are some tools to help me in my weblogging endeavor:

http://www.dictionary.com/
http://www.thesaurus.com/
http://www.freerice.com/
http://www.something.com/
http://dict.leo.org/
http://www.gizmodo.com/

Love,
Kent